My last post on Loving Our Neighbors used a quote from Eckhard Tolle. It encouraged us to see beyond form, beyond someone’s physical presence and psychological makeup, to engage with the pure essence of consciousness to which we all belong. This is always good practice. It moves us out of ego reaction and opens us to Universal Love.

As you are probably aware, this is fairly easy to do with strangers. We don’t have to take their form–their physical presence or their psychological makeup–personally. We can take a deep breath and move on. It’s little harder with people that we see on a regular basis, like co-workers and friends. We have disagreements with them, but at the end of the day we can still step away, go home, take a break.

Probably the most difficult place to practice seeing beyond form is with our families of origin. We all have been carrying around a lot of family baggage, both personal and communal, for decades. Everyone in our family is carrying that baggage, but each person is seeing it from their own viewpoint. If that baggage is emotional dysfunction (which it most likely is), then the ability to process or deal with it is limited. There is little opportunity for clearing the air. The layers keep adding up and the suitcases get heavier and heavier.

I have my own work to do on my own stuff. I think I’m doing ok. Then I come into contact with family and the dysfunction all comes to the surface again. It pushes my childhood buttons. It’s easy to get sucked into the vortex of emotional family business and react which, of course, just adds more baggage. I have to remind myself that those buttons that are getting pushed are my buttons. They couldn’t get pushed I didn’t have them!

Is life unfair? Yes! Are people always in control of the harm they inflict? No! Is it my responsibility to carry communal baggage? No. But I am responsible for healing my own energy, both for myself and because that heals communal energy. And I try, every day, to unpack some of those suitcases. I want to be light and free when I take my final trip.