Life is an education in time and mortality. All along the way, we make choices. Each choice is an opportunity and each one has a cost––once we make a choice we can never know how other paths not chosen might have played out. Part of the process of maturing involves coming to terms with that, accepting where we are instead of what could have been.
A beautiful example of this is the 2023 movie Past Lives, directed by Celine Song and starring Greta Lee. This richly layered plot centers on a love triangle, but it also addresses themes such as immigration, fate, reincarnation, and choice. Each character has the opportunity to review their past and current choices, and then choose how they will move into their future.
I recently came to the natural completion of a life choice. I’m stepping into a new chapter now and thinking about what choices I want to make moving forward. How do I steer my future toward things that feed me? How do I want to feel? What do I need to work on in order to avoid repeating past mistakes?
The Women’s Collective: You would like this to end up neatly, with some greater understanding that would keep you from making similar choices. Notice we did not say ‘mistakes.’ Everything is a choice. When you choose one thing, you cannot choose another. You live with what you have. And when it doesn’t fit, you choose something else.
You are too willing to create an attachment to the choice, as if making the choice is a character statement about yourself. You are asking yourself “How could I have made this poor choice?” Every choice is by its nature both ‘good’ and ‘bad.’ Every choice has the potential to create a new pathway, travel an old one, or come to a dead end.
Do not think for one moment that you are in control of your choice. There are so many other factors involved, including other people’s choices and the environment the choice was made in. Energy is swirling constantly, and you have no control over that. What you do have control over is how you are caring for your choice. Are you nurturing it, or letting it languish? Are you embellishing it or belittling it? Are you too attached to it?
This last part is key. Making a choice is not something that happens once and then it is set in stone. Choice is a fluid action. It moves. Becoming attached to it means that you expect it to sit still and stop evolving. That cannot be. Nothing is concrete. Everything is in motion. All day, every day, every minute.
It is not the choice itself that is important, it is the quality of the vibration that is important. Like intention, choice involves a vibrational quality. You must embody that vibration in order for the choice to remain vibrant and alive. Choice is an act of creativity that requires its ongoing creation. You can’t just say “There. I’ve chosen. Now I’m done.” You have to keep choosing for it to be alive. You have to give it energy and attention. You have to be willing to adapt your choice to changing circumstances. You yourself have to be alive and vibrant, because that is the energy that will curate your choices.
You have to be living, in the moment, and allow Life Force to energize you. Then your choices will flow with that energy.
Choice is a noun, a static point.
Choosing is a verb, a relational action, a dance.