I have been running full tilt on the medical mouse wheel, trying to deal with two separate crises. My daughter is a young college student with a brand new significant health diagnosis; she has been unable to see how lack of management will kill the one thing she really loves—her basketball career. My father is an elderly man with dementia who is stubbornly trying to navigate a complex medical world on his own and failing. Trying to manage these two situations on top of my own chemo-fatigue has pushed me over the edge. I am tired, irritable, and stressed out. Nobody, of course, is benefiting from my stress.
What is stress, anyway? It’s worrying about a future that hasn’t happened yet. It’s taking on more than what belongs to me. It’s not putting context around these situations. Clearly, it’s about not being present. Who can help me today?
Universal Wisdom: This is one of the more difficult things about being human. There are so many feelings to deal with. If you are a sensitive person––and you are a sensitive person, then you easily sense another’s distress. You have a hard time time delineating what is your own stress and what is someone else’s.
You cannot relieve someone’s stress by taking it on yourself. Certainly not by adding yours to theirs. Having a stress reaction is adding to their stress, whether you are in close proximity or not. This is about the energy vibrations you create.
You can help yourself be more present, to yourself and others, by monitoring the energy of your being. Take a minute to scan your body and see where you are holding your energy.
My energy is in my upper body and my head.
This kind of arrangement places you off-balance. Literally. Your upper body is heavier than your lower body, and muscle rigidity is required to keep your energy self from tipping over. Bringing your energy into your pelvis, lower in your body, creates stability and freedom of movement.
I am trying deep breathing, and it feels like I am just trying to push my energy down, which is not helpful.
Try to breathe, not just with your lungs, but with your energy. When you breathe in, let your energy move into all the space inside your body. When you breathe out, let your energy move into all of the space around your body. Breathe in, breathe out. Inside, outside. Concentrate, expand. Density, freedom. Bring it in, let it out.
I feel different already. More relaxed.
This is very helpful. I feel better after only a few minutes.
Now I can go water my garden without pouring stress on it.