I was with my homeopath last week, and i was trying to describe my exhaustion after cancer treatment. I was feeling more and more detached from my body, from Life all around me. While describing this detachment to her, I began to have a vision. I saw myself floating out in space, among the stars. There was a lifeline of some kind attached to the earth, thousands of miles away, and I had either lost my grip or let go of that lifeline. I was drifting away from the end of it, out into space, unable to return under my own power.
Instead of focusing on the lost lifeline, I turned around to look where I was drifting, and I came face to face with an enormous eye. The eye had a brilliant burnt-gold iris, and filled my entire vision. I was aware that this was the Eye of God. I kept floating towards it and right through the open pupil. In that instant I became the Eye of God, and I was given the awareness that that is what humans are—the Eye of God. We are spiritual witnesses to Life, and all we see and feel and experience goes back to join that energy. Overcome with the beauty and intensity of this gift, i wept.
Then I came to an infinite field of white light, and my body entered it. I was two beings simultaneously: I was my body in the field of white light, and I was also my spirit standing outside the field and observing. My spirit was invisible except for one eye, which was a brilliant burnt gold, the Eye of God. While I was immersed in the white light I was given a healing and three awarenesses: I felt the white light fill my body and restore Life Force in all my cells, which was calming and revitalizing; I realized that this time in my life, right now, is not for recovery from cancer treatment (which implies a return to my previous state), but a time of healing—moving in a new direction; I was reminded of all that had been stripped away during cancer treatment, and realized that I am adding to my fatigue by trying to put all of that back into my life again; and i realized that the stripping away had removed my old ways of being, created a new life for me, and prepared me for my Higher Purpose.
Today I am feeling all of that. My old job has been been filled, i am not going back there. My low cognitive test results mean that i will not be going back to any nursing career. There has been a fork in the road and i have gone well past it. There is no going back. A new path has been laid out for me, my Higher Purpose, and I have been exploring it. After my vision, i am more certain than ever that this is what i am made for.