In my last post, I referred to the remodeling of my house, a building that provides structure and safety for my exterior life. Concurrently, I am also doing a remodeling project of my interior life––I’m addressing old behavior patterns. This is like upgrading the foundation of my home. Crawling around in the dirt and bugs under the house is daunting, but ultimately ends up in more stability. It’s necessary and desirable.
Maybe because I communicate with the Teachers on a regular basis, people sometimes imagine that I already have all my personal business in order. Nope. I’m a real human just like everyone else. I wake up in the morning with bed head. I sometimes make poor choices. I have emotional baggage from past experiences. Life is a path of learning opportunities and I’m a regular student.
One area that I’ve worked at my whole life is boundaries. Multiple childhood traumas left me with a bubble punched full of holes, unable to protect or enjoy myself at appropriate times. I found a helpful exercise on pages 90-91 of Cyndi Dale’s book Energetic Boundaries: How to Stay Protected and Connected in Work, Love, and Life (Sounds True, 2011). She offers steps to clear and heal energetic boundaries by creating a physical object of intention. I found her exercise helpful. You might like to try it, too.
First, choose an object to work with. A stone or gem works well. It’s best if it’s small enough to fit in your hand, so you can hold it or carry it in your pocket. I chose a small piece of amethyst that a good friend gifted me. Next, allow yourself open time and space to fully experience each step in the process.
Here are her ten steps for using your stone:
1. Hold or think about the stone you are going to use.
2. Clear your mind of everything you’ve been thinking about.
3. Center in your heart.
4. Sense any feelings, thoughts, experiences, people, resentments, or obstacles that have been compromising your energetic boundaries. Concentrate especially on guilt, shame, anger, and blame.
5. Release these factors, allowing your own spirit or the Divine to flush them out of your system or spiritual borders.
6. Now ask the Divine to completely cleanse you and this stone of all intentions, decision, or energies that might keep you mired in an unhealthy pattern.
7. Reflect on the new intention you would d like to set. Sense, feel, embrace, visualize, or otherwise fully experience this new intention.
8. Create a ball of light in you mind’s eye and visualize this intention, along with the full sensation of it, being inserted into the stone. Feel this new intention flow from your heart down through your arms and hands into the stone.
9. Acknowledge that this stone now carries the energy of your intention and that holding, stroking, carrying, or thinking about the stone will reenergize your new intention.
10. Believe that the Divine will continue to reach you through this stone, and in all other areas of your life, as you begin living your newly established commitment.
I used this exercise to create a new energetic boundary for myself. My new boundary is see-through and stretchy, kind of like an under-inflated balloon. It’s flexible, but tough and unbreakable. I can feel when someone is poking at my boundary and decide what I want to do about that. If I want to connect more closely with the person, I can shrink that boundary to match my skin. If I need to protect myself, I can expand my boundary so they bounce right off. When I forget about that boundary or feel out of control, I can hold or think about my intention stone and be reminded what the boundary feels like.
There’s always more to learn. My new boundary is a starting point. From here, I can create safe space for exploration of other levels of my life. Ultimately, the more I heal, the better I’m able to embody my purpose––to comfortably go out in the world and connect with others, to share Love and compassion and the Teachers’ wisdom.