I have been feeling edgy for the last few days. This irritation is general, unfocused, and difficult to shake. I am negative and judgmental with myself. I hear myself thinking and saying some not-so-nice things about other people. I went out dancing and ended up drinking too much, I smoked tobacco. I am attracted to bad foods. I’m sleeping poorly. I feel powerless and hopeless.
I was disturbed, until someone else mentioned that they are also feeling this irritation. There has been an increase in anger and violence in our country this week. Is my edginess a response to the trauma I have witnessed? Could the traumatic events themselves be partly fueled by irritable feelings in others? Is there some astrological alignment or other energy change in the Universe that is helping to create more opportunities for acting out?
Today I am looking at my own behavior and realizing that I have been actively avoiding my feelings. It’s time to make better choices. I saged myself and my home. I did an hour of Qigong, focusing on my breathing. I went for a walk and focused on the earth. I took a nap. I’m heading out now to do some volunteer work. I’m thinking about Unity.
You know what? I still feel irritable. But it’s no longer motivating my actions.