In the last few weeks, my college-age daughter had a health crisis. I had gone to be with her and share my birthday. Instead, we sat for nine hours in a big-city ER. Even though she was in extreme pain and bleeding internally (not something fixed by surgery), the ER was unable to help her. We went home with nothing but a referral for several days in the future.
It was hard to feel so powerless, to watch my child suffer, weaken and fade away. She lost 20 pounds in 10 days. I struggled with guilt–could this have been prevented? I felt frantic and panicky, witnessing her deterioration right before my eyes. As a trained nurse, I racked my brain for possible actions or solutions. My mind raced to the future and any likely complications. I wept. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I started deteriorating.
I was aware that taking on so much stress was depleting me as a parent and as a person, and I needed to be well in order to support her. I know, cognitively, that we are lucky. We live where health care is available, we are not living in a refugee camp somewhere. Perspective helps. The best thing I could do was to accept that I am powerless to change the physical disease. The power I do have is to love and support my child, and I have done the best I could with that. I know she feels it. That is what is important. That she doesn’t feel abandoned or misunderstood or uncared for. That she doesn’t have to do this by herself. This makes me cry. I wish Love alone could heal her.
I asked the Teachers if there was anything else I could be thinking about or doing:
There is something you could do. And that would be to let the world be itself. Everything is moving. When you concentrate on pain and suffering, you create energy clots, you tighten the energy and reduce the flow. You are still focusing on the negative. What could you find that would be positive about your daughter’s situation.
Hmmm. I got an eyeful of a big-city ER, which was educational. I reconnected with a friend whose child has a similar condition. I managed to come together with my ex to do a parent thing, something I would never even have considered before. My daughter ended up getting connected with a highly skilled specialist in the city where she lives. And I learned that one of the best ways to deal with powerlessness is to accept it. I gave my daughter the purest love I could, just because she needed it.
That last thing is the most important. Say it again.
I gave my daughter the purest love I could. In the end, other than being with her and helping her stay on track medically, it was the most important thing I could do. Give love. Be Present.
In the end, it’s all you can do for anybody. You cannot fix their pain, you cannot right their wrongs. You have spent your life trying to save people, when all you can really do is Love them. Your goal in maintaining or creating flow is to make the environment where the most Love is possible. You can do this. Anyone can do this. It’s why you clear your own baggage, it’s why you step aside from your ego. It’s what integrity is. It’s what a life of substance is.
It’s not holding on to Points and pinning down time and energy. It’s releasing the Points, using them for reference only, as you move energy through Space. That energy is Love. We cannot say it enough. That energy is Love. It is Multi-Dimensional Positive Energy.
That’s all you need know. You are in a low energy state. You cannot hold everything you usually do. The only thing you need to feel is Love. Let yourself Be Love. Uncomplicated. Plain. Easy. Free. Who you are on your most basic level. Beyond Ego. Beyond even the thought of Ego. Pure Spirit.
That is the gift of this exchange. You have whittled away everything to expose Spirit. It is beautiful. You are beautiful. Life is beautiful. Give thanks.