I facilitate a small group which is focused around Grandmother Dreams, Conversations Across the Veil. We meet twice a month and read the book aloud to each other, stopping for discussion whenever someone feels the need. Even though I wrote the book, and have read it dozens of times, I still get something more out of it every time we read together.
We are currently reading a section about shame and making choices toward a more balanced life. On page 49, I am faced with a choice. I can either face my shame and call back my love, or I can avoid my shame and watch him leave. In that instant, I chose to face my shame.
There are many instances where I have or have not faced my shame. Those choices are available every day. Do I walk away in fear, or approach that interesting stranger and start a conversation? Do I go back to the store clerk and apologize for being crabby and impatient yesterday? Do I travel to Minneapolis and stand with Black Lives Matter, to acknowledge the historic trauma that my race has imposed on others?
Often, opportunities pass. But I am getting better at seeing that I have a choice, and being conscious about making one.