A friend recently told me something that made me realize they’d been using me for a long time. They didn’t have to tell me this at all, and I am grateful for finding out, but it feels like a long-term betrayal. Of course, my ego kicked into defensive protection mode. I felt angry at this person and at myself for being foolish enough to have trusted them.
I could tell I that my ego had gone off the deep end because I got stuck in the mental loop of feeding that anger. Whenever I stopped to relax, when I had any quiet time, when I laid down in bed at night, that loop started playing and wouldn’t stop. I finally remembered to get out the Big Ball of yarn (see 11-14-2023) and do some deeper processing. I slowly threaded the string through my fingers and talked my way through the situation out loud. It took a long time, probably 4 feet of string, before I came to a place where I knew I had something I needed to heal. I asked for help.
A’riquea: Life hurts. It is one long life-time school in learning how to be a human, how to be a spirit-walking journey. You have such good intentions when you come in. You come from the place of Love and Light and it is inviting to get the opportunity to express that through the more intense vibration of a physical body. But being in a body is hard work, too. Some days it feels like that’s all it is. Whether you feel like that or not depends on where you place your attention. Are you focusing on your troubles, or on your gifts? Because that will determine how you progress on your path.
You seem to be caught in a negative loop that is a reaction to someone else’s choices. You are correct when you describe that as an ego problem. It would also be correct to describe it as a spiritual problem. As you know, you cannot solve an ego problem using ego, so wishing it away is not going to be very helpful.
To solve an ego problem with spiritual energy requires that you bring your attention to the plane of Love and Light. It’s not something to just think about, it’s something you do. You have to bring your energy to the vibration of Love and Light. You have to practice being a Luminous Soul. It’s not that you embody that vibration and then everything magically heals. It’s that you bring your energy to that vibration and do your healing work there.
When I bring my energy into expanded alignment, I am aware of the difference between the soap opera drama of ego and the timelessness of cosmic existence. I not only see but also sense how any small chapter of my life is just a burble in the cosmic stream of my Soul Path.
I have been angry at someone for not addressing their emotional healing, and I have been ignoring the fact that I also am on a journey of emotional healing. I will never be perfect. Even though I am moving along, I am where I am now. And the other person is where they are. What seems like an attack on me by the other person is really just a place in time where we did not match up in emotional abilities or spiritual healing.
My purpose as a luminous being on the Earth plane is to touch others with Love and Light. Being caught in Ego and lashing out at someone obviously misses the mark. It is also not allowing myself the benefit of traveling my Soul Path. I could talk about this as forgiveness, but it is really about allowing. I have to be in an expanded energy state to feel this, to allow myself and others the space to be wherever we happen to be on our paths in this moment.
This is the healing path, the one that recognizes pain but places it in the context of eternity. When you join the timelessness of eternity, you will experience peace regardless of your circumstance. You will understand human behavior as typically less-than-intentional, similar to the loop of negative thinking that you began this discussion with. Open not only your heart, but your entire being to eternal Love and Light. Practice being a Luminous Soul on the Earth plane. This is your destiny.