Last month I offered the opportunity for blog subscribers to ask the Teachers a question and several people responded. Here is the first, which deals with relationships. (I have removed any details which could identify the person asking.)

A’riquea:  Relationships are energized space. They can be positive or negative, short term or long term, deep or shallow, rooted or free-flowing. The word relationship just describes some kind of connection. There are many arrangements. 

When most people think about a long-term love relationship such as marriage, they are thinking about the commitment made to each other, which is really about a commitment to keep the space between them positively energized. As you know, there is nothing stationary in the Universe. Everything is in motion. That includes the people in the relationship. No one is in a static state. This can keep the relationship energy fresh and alive. It can also take unexpected turns and twists. In reliable relationships, the parties are able to adjust to these changes, both personally and together. 

Skills are developed over time. There are going to be unskilled behaviors during that process. This is guaranteed. Each party will have to decide what is in their best interests, and the interests of the relationship, when reacting. Reaction is ego-based. Sometimes it is important to react in a way that protects you. Sometimes it is not. Compassion can lead to forgiveness of yourself or the other person. Compassion for yourself can also lead you to move your energy out of the relationship and into other areas of your life. There is no one-size fits all solution. 

Notice that I said you will have to decide what is in the best interest of the yourself and the relationship. You cannot put all of your energy into the relationship and not yourself. You cannot put all of your energy into yourself and not the relationship. Either way is not healthy for the person or the relationship. Defining this balance takes ongoing attention. It is not easy. It can become easier over time, once you have a good idea of your needs, their needs and the relationship needs. But it will always need attendance. That is the energy that describes a relationship—attendance. Tending, as in tending a garden. You would not expect a garden to plant its own seeds, water its plants, hoe its own weeds. It’s a process of loving attention—deciding what to plant that fits the climate, and then loving it through the season. That includes just stepping back and admiring it, but it also includes some hard sweaty work. Love. A labor of Love. That is what a relationship is.

Creating this kind of relationship is in the best of interests of the greater good. Because this is exactly what it means to cultivate the greater good. There are cosmic ripples to this kind of behaving, this kind of learning, this kind of Being. You are filtering this experience through your body, your physical presence, which energizes the echo through other realms of consciousness. We are all connected.