I have had a challenging week in the ego department. After a major dissing from a friend, I was unable to keep my anger in check. I could say that I had every right to voice my opinion and let my friend know how hurtful her behavior was. I could say that her apology was weak, because it met her needs instead of mine. I could say that this is a pattern in her behavior that I have tolerated for a long time, and I’m done with that now. These things might all be true, from my point of view, but it’s just not helpful to act out of anger and defensiveness. It doesn’t help the situation. And it certainly doesn’t help me. It just perpetuates the loop of hurt. I know all this, cognitively, but my ego still wants skin in the game. It’s been a challenge to step back.
I am finding these words helpful:
“To be angry at people means that one considers their acts to be important. It is imperative to cease to feel that way. The acts of men cannot be important enough to offset our only viable alternative: our unchangeable encounter with infinity.”
~Don Juan, in The Teachings of Don Juan by Carlos Castaneda