I read Eve Ensler’s memoir In the Body of the World. Eve is a well-known global activist. In her book, she discusses the connections between her cancer, her sexual abuse history, the politics of women’s sexual trauma world-wide, and our mistreatment of the planet. 
     During her chemotherapy, Eve invokes Kali, the hindu goddess of Time and Change and Destruction, the redeemer of the universe, who clears away the old with a consuming fire. This motivated me to use chemo in a similar way in my own life. I visualized the chemo burning away all of my internalized shame and guilt, my self-destructive patterns, my socially-imposed ideas about who I am or am not, my loss and grief. I felt that the cancer had been feeding on these energies, and I let it take these energies with it when the chemo burned it away.
     Soon after I started visualizing the chemo in this way, I had an amazing vision of transformation that included my Grandmother Millie. Millie is my biological grandmother, a woman I never met because she died almost ten years before I was born. She died at age 48 from metastatic breast cancer. This is the genetic line that has brought me to my own cancer experience.
     Here is what happened in the vision:


I have been seeing both my Grandmother Millie and Eagle Brother over the last week. A few days ago, as I was laying in bed waiting for sleep, my grandmother came to see me. She wanted me to go with her. Her face was continuously morphing into the black and white mask of horror that I had seen the other day, like the masks seen at the Day of the Dead. She was trying to keep her “normal” face in place, but the death mask kept appearing. 
  My grandmother took me by the hand and led me into a black mist. I was not sure it was a good idea to go into that black mist. Every other time I have gone somewhere with a spirit, I went into a white mist. This black mist was thick, smoky, sooty. Grandmother was insistent. Eagle Brother was floating nearby. He looked skeptical, but I went ahead with my grandmother. She led me through the black mist into a giant cave.       
     The cave was crowded with thousands of other beings wearing masks. The masks were all black and white designs, stylized dogs and other animals, constantly morphing in shape. The throng of beings ringed a large opening in the floor of the dark cave, maybe 100 feet across. In the middle of this opening was a huge fire, with flames shooting up toward the high ceiling. The beings were drawn to the flame, but kept their distance from it.
  Through some communication, I became aware that these beings were lost souls, and the flame was The Fire of Lost Souls. I was somewhat distressed to realize that my grandmother was a lost soul. I kept asking how or why a soul could become lost, but there was no answer. 
  At some point, I leapt into the fire. I was engulfed in a feeling of freedom, and came out of the flames golden, shiny and burnished, like a buddhist statue.  While I was in the fire, I could see my hands glowing green—something I have been shown in other visions, that there is a gift in my hands. When I came out of the fire my hands continued to glow green, but were also covered in the black mist. 
  I came out of the cave and my Eagle Brother was there, laying on his back in the clouds with his arms folded behind his head and a playful smile on his face. He seemed amazed that I would have risked going into the fire and amused at my return unhurt. His smile said: see how you are, fearless and strong. He showed me how to use a piece of broken glass to scrape the black mist from my hands.
  While he and I were floating around together, I saw my grandmother as she flung herself headfirst into the fire. She did not come out. I could see her in there, and she was smiling. Something was happening that was helping her. Maybe she also had the feeling of freedom that I had? 
I want to ask: how does a soul get lost.
A soul gets lost when it is detached from the body at death. Yes, you are thinking that that is what death is, when the soul leaves the body. It is not quite so simple as that.
  The Spirit is in the body during Life, it comes and goes during sleep and other travels. The Spirit is attached to other worlds while it is in the body. It is in many places simultaneously. The Soul and the Spirit are not the same thing. Remember that the Soul is the path that the Spirit is traveling. It is a much larger energy. One of the tasks of manifesting as a Human is to learn to live a spirit-serving life. When that occurs, the path of the Spirit will be streamlined. The Spirit will travel its soul-path in a way that provides clear energy for other dimensions.
  Sometimes there is a disconnect from the soul path. This can happen in several ways. The Spirit may miss the track, the path, when it leaves the body. It may be distracted or disabled at the time of the transition. It is not generally something that is chosen. 
  What you witnessed at The Fire of Lost Souls is not a permanent location. It is an opportunity in Space, and opportunity for Souls to regain the path. 
  You were able to leap into The Fire and come out again because you are not a Lost Soul at this time. Your grandmother has been lost for many years. She needed you to come with her to The Fire. A healing has taken place. This will vibrate along your ancestral lines. It will help you in your own healing, although you will not see it for some time.

These are enough questions. You are tiring. Rest now.